The people who hurt us get so wrapped up in the idea that it wasn't their intention to hurt us, and they show us that in all sorts of ways, like justifying their view, discrediting our evidence, deflecting onto another issue, or avoiding. These people aren't monsters. If they were we probably wouldn't love them so much, and wouldn't then be so hurt by them. People are funny when they feel they've hurt someone. I think the immediate response for so many is denial.
It is not the intent that matters. If you hurt someone attend to them as though they are hurt. The details can be worked out later.